I have been struggling with the fact that Liam will soon have to function without me during the daytime, when I go back to work. One reason this is so difficult is because of the breastfeeding and bottle issue I have. This whole time, I have worked very hard to strictly nurse Liam.
My supply has never been over-abundant. I have never been engorged or anything. I have struggled with wondering whether or not Liam has gotten enough to eat because of this. Every time I pumped I would only get a few ounces (maybe). I have a very nice pump . It has worked wonders for me and after the debate on whether or not to purchase one or rent one from the hospital- I'm glad I got this. It is very easy to take places and will be very handy for pumping at work.
Anyway, I have pumped and pumped after feedings, eaten lactation cookies, taken vitamins, and sipped on tea throughout the day that would help increase my supply. Though it has increased a bit, I am still struggling to keep up a good supply in the freezer. At one point, I was up to a whopping 50 ounces of frozen milk, but it dwindled after vacation. I wanted to have plenty of milk frozen before I went back to work, because I know that even when I will pump at work, I won't get enough to replace what he will eat during the day. He is up to 5-6 ounces a feeding now!
When Liam was in the NICU, he got a small amount of formula, but probably less than an ounce, because he was sick. I haven't given him any since, except for one day when I didn't have enough pumped milk with me (we were out) and he was refusing to nurse. Sometimes, he does this (refuses to nurse) and it is very frustrating and difficult for me. He wants a bottle instead because it is easier and quicker for him. I only give him a bottle (of breastmilk) sometimes, mainly when we are out and about. It is easier this way because he likes to nurse for a long time. So, in those cases, it is "easier and quicker" for me too.
I have such a hard time giving him a bottle, when he refuses to nurse because I know that he is starting to become detached to nursing. Nursing is such an amazing bond. And it is so fulfilling to me that I have the food to make my baby thrive. I absolutely love it, even though I have struggled with some aspects of it, like the amount of time it sometimes takes Liam to eat and the fact that I am the only one that is able to feed him (especially in the middle of the night!)
If I wasn't going back to work, I would try everything to keep up with strictly breastfeeding and try and wean Liam from the bottle. But, since I start back in a few weeks- what's the point? Eventually he will nurse less and less and though it will be heartbreaking for me, it is inevitable. I have no problem with those who chose to formula feed their babies vs. breastfeed, but for me it is important to try and nurse my babies for as long as I can in the first year.
I am predicting that we will end up giving him some formula and in that case, we have chosen Enfamil. I hope to only supplement with it. I am going to try and try to pump, pump, pump as much as I can. Even though I know that he will be fine, somehow, I feel guilty? Like I am changing things up too much for him. What if he doesn't like it? I'm sure he will get used to it though. And maybe things will go differently than what I expect anyway.
I know I will be fine, but I could use some motivation on the pumping and the supplementation if we need to.
Any comments/thoughts???
I had no intention of doing anything but nursing (no formula) but when my little one became close to being admitted for dehydration at 8 weeks and being dangerously underweight, I decided with the assistance of my lactation consultant (free through la leche league) to supplement with formula. It was my biggest nightmare, as I eat really cleanly and wanted my so to follow suit. I live in Saudi Arabia and the choices of formulas where not that great, and the first time I started giving him formula I felt like I was giving him poison. Now when I look back on photos of him then as opposed to now, I see how ill he was and how I was not feeding him enough. I, too, also had an amazing pump (medela double electric pump) and at most would get 1-2oz. With the help of the lactation consultant who would visit once a week for 3 hours at a time to witness how I fed him (sometimes it would take me 45 mins to feed him the same amount it would take a normal supply person 5 mins) and working with her, we worked on breast compressions, pumping between feeds to increase supply, hell I even went on meds (domperidone) to increase my supply - this actually increased my pumping from 1oz to 4-5oz each breast!) but the side effects were weight gain, headaches and engorgement.
ReplyDeleteAfter feeding him both breast milk from my breast and formula, at 5 months old he finally went off my breast. Now he is on solids and formula and whilst it's not ideal in my mind (I would have preferred BM and the BF bonding) he is healthy, happy and gosh his temperament changes almost immediately, once he started getting fed.
Also have you heard of feeding/nursing through a nursing supplementer? It is where you put the formula through a tube that you tape to your breast, so that Liam can stimulate your breast to increase supply whilst feeding on the formula. It is also a way to prevent nipple confusion between breast and bottle. I did it for 4 weeks. It's easier that you think but does tie you down to being at home to do it.
oh sorry, it is wasn't clear above, I had a lack of milk supply issue from the get go :)
ReplyDeletethank you for your comments! i have heard of the nursing supplementer, we used it when he was in the NICU early on. i guess we will just see how it goes when i start work and go from there! hopefully things all work out and i get over my anxiety of giving him formula, like you did!!!
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for visiting my blog! The picture thing is something new that came with the new blogger interface. On your Blogger dashboard, near the top/left, it'll ask you to try the new format. I'm still figuring it out, like you click on the picture to add caption and adjust position and size etc..
ReplyDeleteI nursed my first, Ivy, for 8 months and them switched her to Formula for 3 months then over to whole milk. My youngest, Anna, only got breast milk for 6 days, she was very ill and diagnosed with Galactosemia. She was then on Soy Formula for 18 months. Bottle feeding helped my husband to become closer with our girls, he connected sooner with Anna then with Ivy (She's always been more mommy's girl) and he helped me alot, special at night.
Don't feel bad about switching to Formula, it has saved many lives... and mother's sanity ;)