Just a little more time

One week from today.

I go back to work.  

Yes, I did extend my maternity leave from September 26th to October 5th.  I needed a little more time.  I still need a little more time, but I cannot afford to be off from work any longer.  I am missing out on too much and though I only really missed two weeks worth of pay, we really do need that income back, especially because I need to get these college loans payed off.  

I have been off of work since June 13th, which was my last day before summer break.  I had Liam just 5 days after and it was nice to have a small break to relax and prepare for his arrival.  We seemed to have planned things so perfectly.  My maternity leave actually didn't begin until August 10th since I don't work full time in the summer.  So, when I start back next week I will have had almost 4 months off, which I am very grateful for.  I am thankful for the time I have been able to spend with Liam, to have been home with him while he is so little.  And especially to nurse him most of the day and bond with him.  

I absolutely love my job and the perks that come with it.  When I started college, I never planned on getting a social work degree.  When I realized all the options I would have in a field that involved helping others, I was really interested in giving it a go.  I love people, I love listening to stories, talking, and laughing.  I could have never imagined graduating in May 2009 and having a job by June 2009.  Everything kind of just fell into place, like my whole life has (which is why I think I'm going to get screwed one day!).  

Towards the end of my college career I knew I wanted to work in the schools.  I interned with a school system and loved it.  Now, I pretty much have my dream social work job.  I have to say the holidays and summers off  help me love it even more.

So, Wednesday is the day that I return.  I am looking forward to seeing everyone again and being a part of everything.  I am anxious to be contributing to the team again, since I have felt pretty useless on maternity leave in terms of keeping up with work.  And, I'm wondering just how I'm going to be able to keep up with work!  All work.  Like work, work and house cleaning work.  All I'm going to want to do when I get home is spend time with Liam.  How am I ever going to get anything done?  Does everything kind of just fall into place?  

One thing I'm not looking forward to is how fast the time will speed by.  When I am working, the days pass by so fast.  When I was pregnant, work made the weeks go faster.  Now, I know that time will just blow by because Liam is here.  That means that he is going to grow up so quickly and that I'm going to be missing some of it.  

That's what I'm afraid of.

I don't want to miss him grow.  

I feel guilty that I will not be there.  

One good things is that our childcare situation works in our favor and I am thankful that I have my husband to be with him during the day.  This will make it easier for me to leave, because I know that he is in good hands.  And, I also am happy that Liam will be spending quality time with Daddy, which many fathers and sons don't get the chance to do so.  But, I know that I'm going to miss some of the "firsts".  By the time I get home, I will have less time to spend with him than Brandon will because he will be going to sleep around 9 or 10.  Bring on the weekends...

I don't want to leave this face...

If anyone has any suggestions on going back to work after baby or would like to share their experiences, I would greatly appreciate it!